I’m worried my brother may be gone forever

Its more advice for my brother. Last week he had fight with a kid on the school field. He knocked the kid out with one punch and the boy went unconsious. Kids call him a bully, smug, freak, has no friends. He lets it go past him like no one said anything. I know thats usually what the best thing to do , but its just getting worse. He missing school because all of his friends dont want to be around him. I just dont know what to do to make it better. Please answer ASAP.. he didnt come home until 6 hours after school had finished. Im worried he might go forever.


Dear Concerned Sibling,

During the years of high school, this is a discovery phase of life. You are determining who you are and learning how to deal with your emotions. The problem is the people around you are going through the same thing, and oftentimes immaturity makes people do and say stupid things. This does not excuse their behavior, but understand that during the period of time in life people are cruel to one another. As tough as people like to think they are, words hurt. There is a reason why the Bible states the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18). It goes on to say that there is death and life in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). What does this mean? That the same way these words can tear you down, they can also build you up. With that in mind, understand that the words your brother hears has been tearing him down whether he admits it or not. So you have to make the choice to rebuild him and speak life into him. Speak positivity, speak encouragement, speak patience, speak wise choices.

Whenever you see someone lashing out, you must look at the root of the problem. There is a reason he is acting out in this manner. Typically at his age it is either (1) home-life issues, (2) self-esteem issues, (3) relationship issues with the opposite sex or (4) drugs/alcohol…which usually are a result of the first three. Your main goal is to make sure that his isolation doesn’t lead to more erratic behavior. Maybe you should set aside time and plan some activities together so he doesn’t feel alone. It doesn’t have to even cost anything…just play a card game, go toss a ball, or hang out and joke around with one another. Having a brother is a blessing in that you always have a built in best friend. There is no reason he should feel alienated and ostracized knowing he has the love and support of his sibling.

I applaud you for loving your brother enough to seek help. However this may be something you have to escalate beyond advice blogs. Your brother may need intervention from your parents, caregiver, or possibly even therapy. If he can’t vent to you, he needs to be able to vent to somebody and learn a creative way to release his frustrations.

Keep your brother in prayer, speak life to him, and offer him support. But realize there is only so much you can do and you may have to ask for help.

Be encouraged!

Truth in Love



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