How to handle my parents divorce?

Question

ok so i am just a kid and i am 11 years old

i hate my parents right now because all they have done for the past year is fight

well my mom thinks my dad had sex with another girl and says she has proof (i dont think she does)

my mom likes to make a big deal out of everything and i dont no why she treats everyone the way she does

my dad loves my mom and would never cheat on her but i no he is getting sick of my mom lying and when my mom knows my dad is right she blames it on me

i gues what i want to no is  do i try to keep there relationship together or shoul i let them brake up

also if they do brake up who do i go with i still want to be with both but i cant take it when they are together when all they do is fight.

 

Response

Dear Just a Kid,

We sympathize with you and your situation. It has to be really tough for you to be caught between their arguments. However, as much as it may hurt, it is not your battle to fight. At your age you are learning how to interact with others and this situation is forcing you to mature fast. But in your search for independence and a voice, understand that you still have a lot more life to live and  can’t quite understand the depth of adult issues in relationships. You say your mom makes a big deal out of everything, but there is a history between your parents that could possibly stem past 11 years. This history could include emotional and as well as health issues. Sometimes these issues are what adults conceal from children in an attempt to protect you. While shielding you, adults sometimes hold in so much that they lash out on others. This doesn’t make it right, but keep in mind your parents are human and we all make mistakes; especially when we try to manage our emotions and mistakes.

It’s unfortunate at times that adults get so wrapped up in our selfish desires that we can’t see clearly how our behavior and decisions affect you and how you will interact in future relationships. I sympathize with your position, however don’t place this burden on yourself. You do not have control over your parents breaking up or staying together. Further, your input may ignite the fire and make the situation worse. Therefore we suggest you keep your distance and allow your mother and father to resolve their issues without interference. Try to focus on your school work and extracurricular activities. If you aren’t involved in any, pick a sport or club at school and try to become actively involved. Use this time to sow into yourself and help keep your mind off the situation until it works its way out. Hopefully it won’t end in divorce, but if it does then tackle that situation when it comes. Just put one foot in front of the other and take one day at a time.

 

Keep your faith!

Truth in Love

 

 

Comments

  1. Such a deep anwres! GD&RVVF

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